Day 1

 Why would I call it day 1?

The only reason I could think of is because I’ve got no other reason

Than just give it a title to work with

I just wanted to start this

Have a reason to write, let my mind and thoughts go, let my words fly out, let myself go

Because I want to scream out of joy and out of despair, people claim me and myself and my help and my soul and existence, yet things work out for the best, eventually I want to be happy

I want what I don’t have, what I lack, I am empty

I feel trembling

I am not sure if it is the cold or the nervous feeling crawling in my skin

It is everything and nothing it is the shadow of my own self what I fear the most

What am I afraid of? But I never know what to say, but I’ve always experienced the lack of fear, except when I think about my own self, I am afraid of me, of what and who I am , what I may come to be or what I have been, I am afraid, and terrified of my dark self

And sure everyone has had this thought, but I sincerely doubt they have thought about it with tears in their eyes afraid of what these words really mean as I am right now

Almost 3 days later I continue this note, this thought, to regret decisions, to regret choices, to regret my hunger, to regret my thirst.

From the mind of Cogliostro