Letter that was never written

The skies are crying because they couldn't find you this morning
just as I did when I found me talking to a far you
with the saltiness and wetness in my eyes

Last night I was away, I was gone because I didn't want you gone
last night I was secretly hoping for another delay,
but I knew I must have to let you go

we both know we don't have words and this has become our way
this has become our life, we can almost complete each other's phrases
and thoughts, we can tell or think without restrain
but we can't be all that

for a while my heart will tear bit by bit, will feel shut and lost
woman seize that opportunity or I will go there and claim you!!
words definitely can't say more, can't tell what I really feel
no without wounding you, not without pain, which is the last thing I want for you

it hasn't been more than 10 hours yet I miss you so terribly
I can't say much, I can't...
I wished you didn't go, those were my word I mouthed while you walked away
before you hade others take care of me,
when you should be the one, and you probably are, if things, life, me, etc, hadn't happened the way they did

I know even if you don't say it is true,
I can't.... but I can say I hate you instead because I know you understand me
and that you will recall certain words of mine that said similar tunes

you were right, you are right, and you will always be right
I never knew how you could read me so well, never got the way we connected but we always have
so many times I had you for myself, I wanted you all for me, so many times I wanted to close my lips with yours
wanted just to wake up next to you and have that something you are going to get back
so many times I wished against a wished that was impossible
have a bit of faith, be happy because you need to, you deserve it and because I want you to

don't cry my love these are my words, because I will do it for the both of us
loneliness will be my new friend, I will embrace her once more, and keep myself for the one that unfortunately is not you

who will mark, bite, hit, insult, and just love me the way you do, who will have me and open herself like you did, please if you find her send her to me, or just clone yourself (leave the clone and you come instead)

it is incredibly hard to say something to you, the saying goes if you love someone let her go, if she returns she was always yours, oh, I hope it so, so, so bad

it is in your smile, and the way you look at me when you tease me, and especially when you don't, it is in your laughter, and lips, it is in your skin, so soft and at times rough, imperfect but never to me, it is in your eyes the brownish scent of a full grown woman who knows but dares not to say, and just goes for it, it is in your crazy hair, no matter the color nor length, it is in your words always correct, and your personality, it is in your body, your breasts, your waist, hips, legs, arms, neck, face, it's in you, it's on you

it is you
the lips of an illusion, the idea of heaven the magnificence of your being, the sight of a mirage which I prefer to see forever because I know now she is not mine
I can't give you a new world nor new adventures, but I will always keep you here in my heart because it is so much bigger than anything else it is infinite when it comes to you

I love you, I miss you
my L

Ps: this was written at 8:53 am almost 10 hours of your departure, this letter is what I just can't say, and won't say